PCS Depression

It’s as real as the inventory sticker on the moving boxes.

Right now I really just wanna say screw this base, throw the deuces up to our new duty station and move back to North Carolina. Settling in here has been nothing but delays in health care, crying children who miss friends, crying children who have no friends and-I-can-keep-going.

The negatives and disappointments are never ending. Every day it’s a new problem I have to figure out and a new ICE complaint I feel I to need to file. Depression after a PCS move in the military is never talked about. However, it is a real problem military spouses suffer.

I am/was depressed due to our PCS move.

I miss the family relationships I built.

I miss my friends and familiarity of the life we had.

I miss the school that we had to fight and threaten legal action to get our children into for a typical education.

I miss the doctor who fought to find treatment and contacted doctors across the nation on how to care our child.

I miss my children being happy.

I miss the therapy for our children that we are still (after 7 months) are trying to get for our children here.

I-can-keep-going.

I miss our old life before the PCS so much, that I have to physically make myself not think and forget about that life because it makes me so sad, it brings me to tears.

I’ve tried…I’ve tried so hard to “suck it up buttercup” and deal the hand that has been dealt to our family. However, the anxiety, stress and frustrations just keeps accumulating.

I’m like a balloon being filled up with air and we are all covering our ears in anticipation of it going to pop.

I know I am not alone. But I also know no one wants to talk about it. I can’t wait to fall asleep to not think about all the problems I need to fix. I want to tell anyone who will listen everything on my mind, but all I can say is “I’m fine” because nobody likes a whiner.

All this monologing that is going on in my head is distracting me from my normal day to day. No amount of binging TV and laying on the couch helped. Dust was collecting on all surfaces of my life; my business, my shelves and my body. After years of being me, I knew what was going on. And it wasn’t just a major case of self pity.

It’s easier to say it openly now. Due to societies new wave or fade or whatever you want to call it; talking about depression is now acceptable and welcome. No human should want another to suffer in silence.

I have had depression before. and tried medications which didn’t work. I knew just because one solution may not have worked; doesn’t mean they all wont. I had to keep trying. Finally, I found what helped me.

I am not going to list all the options and lecture you to be the one to take the first step. Just understand there are many options which can help with the treatment of depression; so don’t give up hope.

OK, I’m a hypocrite. I will give you one resource- Military OneSource

Understand it is not the only source. I may or may not have used it for myself more than once or currently. There is a crisis number, there are articles and there are suggestions on steps to take to get help.

Most of all, I hope after sticking around to read this you see that your feelings about a PCS move are not unvalidated. They are real and exist.



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