I was trolling Facebook last week while waiting for my spawn to visit all the oh so lovely snakes in the reptile house at the zoo. I made a adult decision to not expose my children to my fear of snakes and save their ears and noise sensitive bodies to my ear piercing screams. While on Facebook I ran across an interesting article from the blog Tales from the Mommy Trenches.
She wrote a post recently regarding the negative connotation today’s society has placed on families with multiple children and the choice to have medium sized families. I say medium sized because it seems people make some rational justification for families with over 4 children. However, families with between the average 2 and up to 4 require the average Joe to question why. Why would someone want more than two and no more than 4? Take the Duggers for instance. People watch their show with love and respect for a family that can raise a gaggle of children, or the past show Jon and Kate Plus 8. But when someone decides to have a third or fourth it’s met with disgust and questions.
I was fully pregnant with Diva when Bug was diagnosed with Hypogammaglobinemia. Horrifically a friend ask how we could possible consider having more children. I was confused and angered. Being 7 months pregnant I wondered how they thought I would approve and then act on their comment. Did the bulging belly of our second child not ring a bell that our choice of more than one child could not be undone? They never apologized, however they eventually followed up her comment with “your sure defiantly done now.”
Errrr….. Last I knew I was in charge of my own reproductive organs and furthermore, my husband and I were in charge of making decisions for our family.
I guess by the time SB came around they and most others assumed my child bearing days were over. Anytime a fourth is mentioned we get gasps, horrified looks and pity. I love how everyone feel they have bearing and weight on our choices of procreation. Furthermore, why was having one child ok, but additional children a horrific thought? It makes me feel like they see our children as a burden on us; that their diagnosis’s are so time and life consuming the thought of sterilization should be more on our minds.
I just don’t understand why a medium sized family is such a odd personal choice. Maybe it’s because with more than two children- you are out numbered. Then with more than four you can employ the buddy system within the ranks. However, what makes me the most irritated is when people assume the reason we need to be done having children is because of the special needs of our current children.
My children are not a burden, they are a blessing. Blessings that have taught me more than unconditional love. They have taught me to manage my time better, prioritizing and being thankful for when people give them clothes instead of toys for birthdays because I hate laundry and love spending more time with my spawn.