I am in no way a competitive person. I could care less who wins or loses most games and the games I do care about I love finding a formidable opponent (don’t date think you can beat me in Monopoly). Hubs seems to be along the same lines. His lack of competition might come from more of a laid back attitude about most things in life. Now that Bug is getting older, he is surprising us with his fierce competitive nature about everything. Today was the day I had had it and decided to educate and inform my children about healthy competition. Of course this was no easy task, nor do I think I accomplished my momism of getting my point through to them in the 15 minutes they were, in their words, trapped in the car with me and our screaming cat on the way to a vet appointment. However, since they were trapped in their seats I used and abused every second.
Bug starts his day off with racing to get ready first. At the breakfast table he mentions to me, still in my Jammie’s, how he is dressed and done with breakfast and likes to comment how I haven’t even had one cup of coffee. Err, I think their should be an additional lesson to learn there- don’t talk to mommy before her coffee. Nevertheless, he is apt and on point about his first victory of the day.
I used to push off his competitive attitude by telling myself he is just stating a fact about his black and white world. However, his fact mentioning is growing increasingly out of hand and initiating fights with his siblings. This past weekend we realized it wasn’t a simple statement he was making. We realized that if playing a game he knew he was losing or could not win first, he would drop out or complain someone was cheating. I asked Hubs if he knew a way to instill in him a healthy competitive spirit, but because neither of us are overly eager to fight Bug on it (because that’s what it would end up beginning; Bug feeling he is right and a “winner” in his actions) we swept it under the rug. However, on second though I feel it is a battle worth fighting for. I feel it’s a personality trait that could hinder and hold him back from progression and achievements in his life.
So back to this morning with one screaming cat and three, than interested, kids in a car. Bug, again, proclaimed how he was the first to get in the car. I cricked my neck the the side, rolled my eyes and sighed as his sister climbed in “last”. I asked him what the finish line was. He said he didn’t know. I asked him if it was bad to be last. Luckily, he said no. So I asked him what would happen if he got in after his sister. He replies “then she’d get out last”. Pop, roll, sigh. I wanted to scream and shake him right there. Pop, roll, sigh. I didn’t. Instead, I went with a different approach; the logical one.
Fact: the hard truth is there is always a winner and a loser.
Fact: loser is connected with a negative definition; as in “not winning”.
So I asked the kids what the meaning of competition was. Diva eagerly answered it was playing a game. In a kids mind, yes. So I ran with it. We talked some more about feelings and then I gave them prompts on what to say if they lose and what to say if they win. All in all, the end result wasn’t what would end up winning me mom of the year, but at least I broached the topic of graceful competition.
If you feel you are constantly running a race against the world, your gonna end up to tired to finish at all.