Kelly Seeks

Hold on tight to your Rae Dunn mugs ladies and wrap those over-sized knitted blankets around your body.

I felt like my heart was ripped from my saggy boobed chest. I was wasting more of my life away being sucked into the Facebook binge when an article popped up on my feed. It was a strategically placed ad tactic by some married man behind a desk, or my husband who hoped he could keep more money in our account. Nevertheless, tears ensued. Ugly tears; the kind I cried when watching The Notebook for the first time…pregnant.

I couldn’t catch my breath. I grabbed the nearest paper bag I could find. Which was actually hard because who has a stash of paper bags anymore? I was scrounging around for a bag in my delirium when, finally, I was able to take a deep breath to calm down. I still felt like I needed a Zanax and a six-pack in order to completely chill out. However, I could just not let me kids see me like that. So I sucked in my bottom pouty lip and trudged on with my day.

To me, Hobby Lobby has the biggest selection around regarding craft supplies and home decor. Weekend excursions to the other side of town, always included a stop. As the hours passed, I realized our family staycation there might come to a drastic and abrupt end. I started making a list of all the things I needed to get before all the Hobby Lobby’s in the world closed. Tear. However, epic panic followed.

The list I was writing grew and grew. Using my youngest like a ribbon on a spool, I wrapped the shopping list around her. I thought this way as I shopped, I could just unroll her as I checked things off. This method would keep things nice and tidy for a fast finish. I pictured a moment from Super Market Sweep and hoping unrolling her down an isle wouldn’t cause a big scene, but I definitely was not going to hold back any  of my obese belly laughs if a few shoppers trip over her.

At any rate, I have a feeling there will be a much bigger problem. The biggest spectacle would be the backdrop of farmhouse and whitewashed wall crackpots streaking through the isles and grabbing onto any and all distressed couture they found.

Hold on tight to your Rae Dunn mugs ladies and wrap those over-sized knitted blankets around your body. Withdrawals can set in fast and include hallucinations of 800% off succulents and marble anything. I for one am body whining over losing their wide selection of scrapbook paper and elastic ribbon. Hobby Lobby is my main go to source for planner decor and fun paperclip making supplies. What am I going to freaking do?

Now, do not try and console me and tell me I or anyone else can just go to another craft store. Hobby Lobby has the largest selection of craft and decor crap there is. So until Hobby Lobby makes a final decision or this hoax finally passes, you can probably catch me there daily or until security drags me out and bans me.