I must confess. I get tired of people complaining about their daily routines and lives- and they are the ones with no kids! They like to glorify their grocery shopping and base board scrubbing lives (I wish I had time for that!). You can read the following and label it as complaining and haten’ on my life but its not. Open your eyes, because its a glimpse into mine. What is more, you need to realize I’m not the only one whose life this represents. If I didn’t love my life I wouldn’t be in it. But I nor any other mother would change one day about being home with their children…

I changed diapers, vacuumed the floor from lunch, cooked dinner and now washing the dishes. Where did I go wrong?

I hate cleaning with a passion. I would rather buy two weeks of clean clothes for my drawers than doing 5 loads of laundry a day. I dust maybe twice a year. I am on my third light weight vacuum this year. I probably vacuum 6 times a day- after each meal and snacks. Cooking was a foreign word to me. Yes, I worked at St. Louis Bread Company (aka Panera Bread) but I didn’t actually bake anything! But I on average cook 5 out of 7 nights a week- and…I…like…it. Well sorta. It’s not like I prance around in heels, pearls and a apron like a 50’s housewife. But you get the point. I’m not a domestic goddess or a Martha wanna be. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom (sahm). Yet here I sit 5 years later slave to my house and secertary to my kids.

Being a sahm is not all the glamor it portrays. And knowing I live in Hawaii you might envision me basking on the beach with glittering water and golden sand. My children splashing carefree in the shallow waters of the emerald ocean. And lets not forget Hubs rubbing oil onto my tan gleaming sun kissed skin.

Barf! Fantasy vs reality people! I spend my days in my little one story ranch duplex that makes me claustrophobic, with no ac, roaches and flies that we can’t kill. Im shelpling kids from preschool, grade school, baseball, and running home in time to meet therapists. Half the time I forget deodorant and to pee in the mornings.

I never wanted this life. I wanted to work, pick my kids up from day care to come home and get a meal cooked so we can all sit at the table together and talk about our day.

Instead our meal today consisted of Bug first refusing to eat dinner, to him at least sitting at the table with us, to him touching his food, to finally taking a bite- and throwing it up. Dang does that boy have food issues!

Next, Diva gets spaghetti all over her white shirt on the first bite. Hubs intelligently removed her and SB’s shirt; only to have Diva swing into full tantrum mode. No worries about her striping! She has to be fully clothed at all times. But since all her clothes were dirty besides white shirts, her only option was one of Bugs. But that solution didn’t go over well. So she joined Bug in a harmonious brother/sister crying duet. Luckily, SB likes all food and ate.

This is not the life I pictured and when I adjusted that view, it’s still not the one I see. I also never dreamed of having two Autistic kids either. One day my daydreaming might catch up to my reality. In the mean time I think that’s how I manage day to day. Everyday the view I see comes closer to what I dream. I love my kids and I love my life. So maybe the two have finally merged?

Being a stay at home mom is not a day at the beach even when you live at one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *