Be Brave; My Fear and Failure
It’s been a rough few weeks friends. I’ve deal with family members getting diagnosised with cancer, our bank accounts hacked, no access to money to buy food, evolved in a hit and run in one car and the bumper being ripped off on the other; but the worst was the feeling of being a epic failure as a parent.
No one said parenting is easy. The old saying “they don’t give you a owners manual” is true and depressing. But what is worse is when you feel defeated by your own personal mom guilt- the feeling you get when you are clueless on what to do or say or act and you show it. You scream and stomp your feet. You realize later you looked like your two year old going through her own season of life- because that is what this phase is; a season. It will pass and it will change. One day you will know what to say and how to react. My biggest fear is it will be too late.
There, I took the first step. I’ll be brave and honest and say I feel like I messed up parenting. I feel it is too late. I see my screw ups in Bug and Diva. They are yellers like me, stuffers with their anger and short tempered. I feel all I have taught them is how to be “ugly”. I admit I feel like a failure.
I don’t know how many times I have admitted my fear and guilt in this post. It wasn’t to gain pity or sympathy; but it was to help you be brave. I took the first step. It is hard to admit you are scared and have failed. I think as parents it’s harder to admit you feel you failed rasing your children. So take this moment to admit your own fears and fails to yourself. Once you know what they are, you can start fixing them. I’ve come to my conclusion; it’s never to late.